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Killing Time: Diary of a Golf Bum

Juniper Hill Golf Course

One of the first things Cameron Mills tells new writers for his site is “Write about the things that you are passionate about.”  Anyone that knows me knows that golf is truly one of my passions, so I am following Cameron’s edict and sharing with you some of my love for golf.

In 2003, I finally discovered the great game of golf.  Admittedly, I never saw that coming.  I had always thought golf to be one of the most boring and pointless sports in existence.   Then I finally tried it one day and I was hooked.  Besides getting to spend time at beautiful venues, I found it to be a great way to kill time while waiting for football season to start.  When the opportunity arose in 2007 for me to retire from 27 years of service to the state, I jumped at retirement and embarked on a new career:  golf bum.  While the pay isn’t that great, I can say that the hours are marvelous!  And now join me as I share a recent 8-day span filled with plenty of golf:

June 12 – 7 a.m.

Dear Diary,

Today is our monthly “away play” for my Wednesday Golf League.  We are going to Ducker’s Lake Golf Course in Frankfort.  It’s a beautiful course, but I have unpleasant memories from prior attempts to conquer it.  I have pondered whether it would be best to just purchase a dozen really cheap golf balls and then go toss them into the Kentucky River and call it a day.  It would save me the green fees and a lot of aggravation.  Blind tee shots, too many water hazards, and lots of trees in inconvenient locations have always contributed to me losing more than a few golf balls during a round.  Do I really want to subject myself to this again?

7 p.m.

It was miserably hot and humid today and everything hurts — my back, my shoulders, my feet, and my pride.  The good news is, I only lost 1 ball today.  The bad news is, I found the rest of them and most of the locations were not favorable.  I offer you exhibit 1:

11th green at Ducker’s Lake when approached from the wrong place

What the picture does not show is the low-hanging tree branches over my head making a simple pitch shot not the best choice.  I wish this was the only hole where I approached the green from an awkward location.  Sadly, that was the norm for the day.  Worst round of the year for me.  I hate this game.

June 14 – 7 a.m.

Dear Diary,

It’s time for my regular Wednesday league and I am debating whether or not to play.  Monday was tough and I just don’t know if I have the mental strength to endure another round with so many challenges.  This would be a great day for a rain out.  Alas, there is not a cloud in sight.  I suppose it’s time to head to Juniper Hill.

#1 tee box at Juniper Hill. Yes, there’s a tree in front of you!

7 p.m.

I had so hoped tonight I would be detailing the great shots I hit today.  Well, I did hit some great shots, but not enough to overcome a collection of shots that, while looking great in the air, produced less than desirable results.  Six bunkers today.  SIX.  Normally, I don’t mind having to hit out of a bunker.  It’s one of the few things I am consistent with doing acceptably.  But 6 times in one round?  No, thank you. Did I mention the beautiful drive on #5 that hit the fairway, then bounced out-of-bounds?  Or how about when I hit the wrong ball on #8?  And let’s not forget the crowning jewel in my day of bizarre landings when, after my drive on #15 landed behind some trees, I decided a punch shot back to the fairway would be the correct play.  So how did I manage to hit my ball so it came to rest inside a tree?  My score was better, but not good.  I really do hate this game.

June 17, 7 a.m.

Dear Diary,

Here I am again, wondering why I continue to torture myself.  I wouldn’t play today except it’s a team event and my partner is depending on me to show up.  I just hope she isn’t depending on me to play well, too.

Juniper Hill Golf Course

7 p.m.

Something odd happened today.  I actually played decent.  Sure, there were 3 putts I would love to have back, and yeah, there were 3 chips I’d love to play again.  Overall though, it was my best round of the season.  As any golfer would tell you, though, it could have been so much better had I not lost concentration on my final 2 holes.  I still hate this game, but maybe not as much as I did 2 days ago.

June 19, 6 a.m.

Dear Diary,

Why am I awake at this ridiculously early hour?  I mean, I’m retired.  I should be sleeping in, but instead I am headed to Cynthiana to play in a Women’s Central Kentucky Golf Association tournament at the Cynthiana Country Club.  Gone are my dreams of playing great.  At this point, I just want to avoid embarrassing myself too much.

The 9th green at Cynthiana Country Club when approached from the wrong place

7 p.m.

Diary, as you can see from my picture, I once again took the path less travelled on several holes, but managed to recover nicely.  Well, most of the time.  Once again, I managed to check out mentally during the final 2 holes and wasted at least 5 strokes.  But if we’re looking for a silver lining, I played well enough to win second low net in my flight and now have a $25 VISA card to spend.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ll spend it at a golf course somewhere.  I love this game!

Follow me on Twitter @ForeverBigBlue




Michele Brown
Michele Brown
Writer at since Feb. 2015 Co-host of Big Blue Views podcast. Mom, Christian, sports junkie, golf addict and speed typist. I can cook your mama's food better than she can.

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